My 12 days of Christmas
(Just Keeping It Real)
On the first day of Christmas
my fake love gave to me
a used imitation handbag
On the second day of Christmas
my fake love gave to me
two drunken brawls
and a used imitation handbag
On the third day of Christmas
my fake love gave to me
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
and a used imitation handbag
On the fourth day of Christmas
my fake love gave to me
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
And a used imitation handbag
On the fifth day of Christmas
My fake love gave to me
Five! Jokes about my ARSE…!
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
And a used imitation handbag
On the sixth day of Christmas
My fake love gave to me
six dates to Maccas
Five! Jokes about my ARSE…!
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two visits to jail
And a used imitation handbag
On the seventh day of Christmas
My fake love gave to me
seven farts in bed
six dates to Maccas
Five! Jokes about my ARSE…!
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
And a used imitation handbag
On the eighth day of Christmas
my fake love gave to me
eight loads of laundry
seven farts in bed
six dates to Maccas
Five! Jokes about my ARSE…!
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
And a used imitation handbag
On the ninth day of Christmas
my fake love gave to me
nine fake orgasms
eight loads of laundry
seven farts in bed
six dates to Maccas
Five! Jokes about my ARSE…!
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
And a used imitation handbag
On the tenth day of Christmas
my fake love gave to me
ten cold sores
nine fake orgasms
eight loads of laundry
seven farts in bed
six dates to Maccas
Five! Jokes about my ARSE…!
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
And a used imitation handbag
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my fake love gave to me
eleven junkie ex-wives
ten cold sores
nine fake orgasms
eight loads of laundry
seven farts in bed
six dates to Maccas
Five! Jokes about my ARSE…!
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
And a used imitation handbag
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas
My Fake Love Gave To Me
twelve illegitimate kids
eleven junkie ex-wives
ten cold sores
nine fake orgasms
eight loads of laundry
seven farts in bed
six dates to Maccas
Five! Jokes about my ARSE…!
four guilt trips
three lame excuses
two drunken brawls
And a used imitation handbag
What’s the worst gift you ever received for Christmas?
What’s the worst gift you ever gave for Christmas?
